Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Half Full
So, graduation was the other day. It was nice.
When I started this course back in September, I envisioned being more excited than I am. I've always maintained the "it's the journey, not the destination" type of mentality. I've always felt a little bitter-sweet when reaching the end of a good book, or even more so on a book series. But this is different. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy that it's over, that I did well, that I can be home more, that I can move on to the next stage of my life, but I'm not feeling the ecstasy that I had envisioned.
One of my friends and classmates mentioned to me after I was done all my school testing and knew I was going to graduate, that I didn't seem as joyous as he had expected. I told him the journey/destination line. Which is true. But truth be told, a large part of it is because it's not complete. Someone's missing. And she always will be. I knew I couldn't go home, hold her, and tell her about my accomplishment and have her look at me and smile (or more likely spit up). And I knew I couldn't hold her at my graduation and have my picture taken with her. So, I put on a smile, and cheer when I'm supposed to, and laugh when I'm supposed to, and while much of it is real, some of it is forced. The hardest part, is knowing that this will be the case every day of the rest of my life. There will be someone missing.
I love you, Kherrington. I wish you could have been there.
-Scott
When I started this course back in September, I envisioned being more excited than I am. I've always maintained the "it's the journey, not the destination" type of mentality. I've always felt a little bitter-sweet when reaching the end of a good book, or even more so on a book series. But this is different. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy that it's over, that I did well, that I can be home more, that I can move on to the next stage of my life, but I'm not feeling the ecstasy that I had envisioned.
One of my friends and classmates mentioned to me after I was done all my school testing and knew I was going to graduate, that I didn't seem as joyous as he had expected. I told him the journey/destination line. Which is true. But truth be told, a large part of it is because it's not complete. Someone's missing. And she always will be. I knew I couldn't go home, hold her, and tell her about my accomplishment and have her look at me and smile (or more likely spit up). And I knew I couldn't hold her at my graduation and have my picture taken with her. So, I put on a smile, and cheer when I'm supposed to, and laugh when I'm supposed to, and while much of it is real, some of it is forced. The hardest part, is knowing that this will be the case every day of the rest of my life. There will be someone missing.
I love you, Kherrington. I wish you could have been there.
-Scott
Friday, July 2, 2010
Self High Five!!
Done!!
My school year began on August 30, 2009, and ended on June 29, 2010. It's been a long haul, away from home two weeks or more at a time, school during the day, study 6-8 hours a night, and no life outside school. But it was worth it. On the 12th of July, I'll graduate. On the 14th I'll wirte the provincial test to be liscenced, on the 9th I have tests for company to complete.... what was this about being done? lol......
I'm looking forward to finding a new groove to fall into. One that will hopefully allow me to spend time doing things I've missed over the past year.
-Scott
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