So, graduation was the other day. It was nice.
When I started this course back in September, I envisioned being more excited than I am. I've always maintained the "it's the journey, not the destination" type of mentality. I've always felt a little bitter-sweet when reaching the end of a good book, or even more so on a book series. But this is different. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy that it's over, that I did well, that I can be home more, that I can move on to the next stage of my life, but I'm not feeling the ecstasy that I had envisioned.
One of my friends and classmates mentioned to me after I was done all my school testing and knew I was going to graduate, that I didn't seem as joyous as he had expected. I told him the journey/destination line. Which is true. But truth be told, a large part of it is because it's not complete. Someone's missing. And she always will be. I knew I couldn't go home, hold her, and tell her about my accomplishment and have her look at me and smile (or more likely spit up). And I knew I couldn't hold her at my graduation and have my picture taken with her. So, I put on a smile, and cheer when I'm supposed to, and laugh when I'm supposed to, and while much of it is real, some of it is forced. The hardest part, is knowing that this will be the case every day of the rest of my life. There will be someone missing.
I love you, Kherrington. I wish you could have been there.
-Scott
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I wish she could have been there too. I know Mo had big plans for sitting Kheri up on her lap and explaining all about how smart daddy is :)
ReplyDeleteWe're all so proud of all of your work and how you set out to better yourself and your family.
So proud of you, and so is our daughter. She was there. I felt her at the beginning of the ceremony. She sat with me for a litle while, watching. I'm sure she would have been SCREAAMMMING at the sound of those bag pipes! I love you, and so does Kheri. I wish she was there too, and not just in the spirit sense. <3
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